Craigslist
Whoa, yeah!
You’ve got a ‘65 Chevy MalibuWith automatic drive, a custom paint job, tooI’ll trade you for my old wheelbarrowAnd a slightly-used sombreroAnd I’ll even throw in a stapler, if you insist
Craigslist, I’m on Craigslist, baby, come onYeah!
Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mallI never took a chance, never approached you at allYou were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gasI was wearing red Speedos and a hockey maskCome on, let’s find that love connection that we missed
On Craigslist, yeah, Craigslist, come onI’m on Craigslist, well, baby, maybe you are tooBee bomp a chonk a donk bim bam boo
Spoken:An open letter to the snotty baristaAt the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard:I know there were 20 people behind me in lineBut I was on a cell phone call with my motherDidn’t you see me hold up my index finger?That means I’ll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutesSo what’s with the attitude, lady?No tip for you
Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts, you can have them for freeYou can drop by on the weekend and pick them up from meBut the trash can ain’t part of the dealOnly giving you the peanuts, get real
Don’t have no Hefty bags, so bring your ownDon’t bug me with questions on the phoneDon’t ask for help, don’t waste my timeAnd don’t complain, ‘cause they won’t cost you a dime
Just ask yourself, Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?You can have my Styrofoam peanutsDo you want my Styrofoam peanuts?You can have them all
They’re on Craigslist, yeahCraigslist, oh baby, come onI’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, CraigslistI’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist nowCraigslist