Dress Rehearsal Rag
Four o'clock in the afternoon, and I didn't feel like very muchI said to myself "where are you golden boy, where's your famous golden touch?"I thought you knew where all the elephants lie downI thought you were the crowned prince of all the wheels in ivory townJust take a look at your body nowThere's nothing much to saveAnd a bitter voice in the mirror cries"Hey prince! You need a shave"Now if you could manage to get your trembling fingers to behaveWhy don't you try unwrapping a stainless-steel razor blade?That's right it's come to this...Yes it's come to this...And wasn't it a long way down?Wasn't it a strange way down?
There's no hot water and the cold is running thinWell what do you expect from the kind of places you've been living in?Don't drink from that cup it's all caked and cracked along the rimThat's not the electric light, my friend, that is your vision growing dimCover up your face with soap there, now you're Santa ClausAnd you've got a gift for anyone who will give you his applauseI thought you were a racing man, ahBut you couldn't take the paceThat's a funeral in the mirrorAnd it's stopping at your faceThat's right it's come to this...Yes it's come to this...And wasn't it a long way down?Wasn't it a strange way down?
Once there was a path and a girl with chestnut hairAnd you passed the summers picking all of the berries that grew thereThere were times she was a woman, oh there were times she was just a childAnd you held her in the shadows where the raspberries grow wildAnd you climbed the twilight mountainsAnd you sang about the viewAnd everywhere you wandered love seemed to go along with youThat's a hard one to remember yes it makes you clench your fistAnd the veins stand out like highwaysAll along your wristAnd yes it's come to this...Yes it's come to this...And wasn't it a long way down?Wasn't it a strange way down?
You can still find a job, go out and talk to a friendOn the back of every magazine there are those coupons you can sendWhy don't you join the Rosicrucians? They will bring you back your hopeYou can find your love with diagrams on a plain brown envelopeBut you've used up all your couponsExcept the one that seemsTo be written on your wristAlong with several thousand dreamsNow Santa Claus comes forwardThat's a razor in his mittAnd he puts on his dark glassesAnd he shows you where to hit
And then the cameras panThe stand-in stunt manDress rehearsal ragIt's just the dress rehearsal ragYou know this dress rehearsal ragIt's just the dress rehearsal rag...