Merry Fucking Christmas
I heard there is no ChristmasIn the silly Middle EastNo trees, no snow, no Santa ClausThey have different religious beliefs
They believe in MuhammadAnd not in our holidayAnd so every DecemberI go to the Middle East and say
"Hey there Mr. MuslimMerry fucking ChristmasPut down that book the KoranAnd hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticedIt's Jesus's birthday.So get off your heathen Muslim assand fucking celebrate.
There is no holiday season in India I've heardThey don't hang up their stockingsAnd that is just absurd!
They've never read a Christmas story.They don't know what Rudolph is aboutAnd that is why in DecemberI'll go to India and shout
Hey there Mr. HinduistMerry fucking ChristmasDrink eggnog and eat some beefAnd pass it to the missus.
In case you haven't noticedIt's Jesus's birthdaySo get off your heathen Hindu assand fucking celebrate!
Now I heard that in JapanEveryone just lives in sinThey pray to several godsAnd put needles in their skin.
On December 25thAll they do is eat a cakeAnd that is why I go to JapanAnd walk around and say
Hey there Mr. ShintoistMerry fucking ChristmasGod is going to kick your assYou infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticedThere's festive things to doSo lets all rejoice for JesusAnd Merry fucking Christmas to you.
On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,Merry Fucking Christmas, To You!
Thank you Mr. hat