I run NY
Ladies and Gentleman, the Mayor of New York.
Good morning. It's been brought to my attention that many rap artist claim that they run New York, but this is not the case.In fact, I wrote my own song about what it's really like.Please excuse the profanity in advance.
Hit it.
ALRIGHT, NEW YORK!
New York, big city of dreams, and you know that I run this town. (I RUN IT!)The king of the streets, dressed in concrete, skyscrapers on my crown! (I'm THE KING!)So if you want this Big Apple, come try to take a bite! (C'MON!)'Cause I run this motherfucking city and I won't give it up without a fight!
Yo, I run New York!It's a pain in the ass!The city's crowded as fuck,And it's covered in trash!
And the sanitation chief just shoved his shit in my face;Another transit strike? Aw, fucking great!
I can't waitTo have another meeting with the labor unionSo the mob can bend me overAnd then shove their fucking shoe in.
So I do itSo you can sip your pumpkin latté.I literally run New York and it's exhausting!
I run New YorkIt's a fucking headacheIt really wears you down! (IT SUCKS!)
In this lake of bureaucratic bullshit,It's a miracle I don't drown!
I (double) literally run New York:I run the marathon.Plus I organized it,So I double-run the marathon!
But no one seems to give a fuck that I'm a paragon.Instead they photoshop me soIt's looking like I wear a thong,And laugh at it in my own office when I'm gone.
I went to the Knicks game, andThey booed me on the jumbotron!
Excuse meFor trying to help you;They won't be satisfied until I'mLocked up in Bellevue.
I guess they don't tell youThis job sucks dick.I run New York and it feels like SHIT!
The Chief of Police is a major bully,He laughs at my ideas. (HE'S A JERK!)
He made fun of my tie last weekAnd I had to fight back tears!
Now on the surface, it probably seems like I should quitCause I spend every day getting punched in the dick.
But at nightI travel down into the subway,Wearing chainmail, locked and loaded for gunplay,
And battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats!If I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that?!
I'll give you a hint:The answer is no one.That's why I'm in the sewer dressed up like a shogun.Because on the equinox, a Hell Gate springs,Releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings.
And no one even knows!They just think I'm a dork.But I still kill those fucking dogs, becauseI RUN NEW YORK!
I run New York, it's a shitty gig;There's no overtime in my pay. (BULLSHIT!)I asked this city for a fucking bonus,And they said "no fucking way!" (UNREAL!)
So rotten is this Big Apple,It's crawling with worms inside! (COME ON!)But I run this motherfucking shithole city,And it makes me wanna die!
I RUN NEW YORK!
Thank you.