"Jackson Park Express" lyrics

Tuesday morning, 8:15
I was riding to work on the
Jackson Park Express
Seemed like any other day
Then my whole world changed
In a way I never could have guessed
'Cause she walked in
Took the seat right across the aisle
I knew we had a special connection
The second I saw her smile

She smiled as if to say
"Hello, haven't seen you on this bus before."
I gave her a look that said,
"Huh, life is funny, you never know what's in store.
By the way, your hair is beautiful.
I bet it smells like raisins."

She looked at me in a way that asked,
"Did you have a nose job or something?
I'm only asking, 'cause your nose looks slightly better
than the rest of your face."
I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly
Which was my way of asking
"Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer?
It still works, kinda
And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left."

Then, she let out a long sigh
Which I took to mean, "Uh,
mama, what is that deodorant you're wearing?
It's intoxicating!
Why don't we drive out to the country sometime
and collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggy?"
Oh yeah

I gave her a penetrating stare
Which could only mean,
"You are my answer...my answer to everything.
Which is why I'll probably do very poorly
on the written part of my driver's test."

Yes, It all happened
On the Jackson Park Express (x4)

I knew she was starting to fall for me
'Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant,
"Baby, let's wear each other's clothes
And speak in a thick German accent.
And maybe someday we can own and operate
our own mobile pet-grooming service."
I couldn't hold back my feelings
I gave her a look, that said,
"I would make any sacrifice for your love.
Goat, chicken, whatever.
I could never hold you close enough:
Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together.
Oh, surgically grafted together."

She picked up her newspaper,
and started reading to herself
Which I'm sure, was a way of telling me,
"When you're cold, I will warm you.
When you're shivering, I will hold you.
When you're nauseous,
I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour
for as long as the symptoms persist.
Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you cry:
So, please let me cauterize your tear ducts
with an arc welder."
Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second
In a way that clearly implied,
"I like your boobs."


I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked away
And I'm sure it was obvious to her,
just what I was trying to say
I was trying to say, "Hey.
I'd like to make a wall-sized mural
out of all the dead skin cells
that you slough off while you sleep at night."
Whoa-o-oh, "I'd like to rip you wide open
and french-kiss every single one of your internal organs.
Oh, I'd like to remove all your skin,
and wear your skin, over my own skin...
but not in a creepy way."

Then, I'm pretty sure, she looked at me,
out of the corner of her good eye
And, though, she never spoke a word,
this is exactly what I heard:
She was saying, "Oh!
I wanna make out with you,
in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoon.
I wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlight,
until the staff at Sea World kicks us out.
I want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm."

I pointed to the side of my mouth,
as a way of indicating,
"Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth."
She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say,
"Here? " I nodded, implying, "Yeah, you got it."

And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street,
and she got up suddenly
"Where are you going? " pleaded my eyes,
"Baby, don't you do this to me.
Think of the beautiful children we could have someday.
We could school them at home,
raise them up the right way.
And protect them from the evils of the world,
like trigonometry and prime numbers, oh no.
Baby, please don't go."

She brushed my leg as she left the bus.
I'm sure that was her way of saying,
"I'm sorry this just isn't working out.
You're suffocating me.
I need some space to find out what life's all about.
So, goodbye forever, my love."

And deep inside, I knew she was right
It was time for us both to move on
And though, I never got her number, oh no no
She never bothered to leave her address, oh
But, as long as I live, I'll never forget
Those precious moments we shared together

On the Jackson Park Express (x8)