Weird Al Yankovic "Handy" lyrics

Handy

First thing's first I'm a craftsmanRemodeling is my only passionAnd i 'm da greatest in da bidness1Want referrals, yo? My clientèle will bear you witness

(Right right) I can help when your door jam sticksThere is nothing in the world that I can't fix.I do tiles I do stone I do bricksCall on me I'll come rushin' with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)

Where do you go when your disposal is rustedTermite problem making you disgustedOr when your front window is bustedJust one name that's always trusted.

I'm so handyYou already knowI'll fix your plumbingWhen your toilets overflow

I'm so handyBring you up to codeWhen your dishwasher'sBout' to splode'

Well you see that your furnace is needing some serviceI'm fully bonded, no need to be nervousPerhaps you would like a new counter, FormicaMaybe I'll hook up this here combo washer dryer

But all your pipes are antiqueYour water pressure too weakYou got a an attic full of dry rot 'cause your roof sprung a leak

Your fridge is starting to reekYour hardwood floors really squeakDon't worry, I'll just show you my amazing technique

Now let me glue dat, glue datAnd screw dat, screw datAny random chore you have to do, well I can do dat, do datWell, maybe I will rewire your house for funI got 99 problems, but a switch ain't one

I'm so handyEveryone says soI'll grout your bathroomResurface your patio

I'm so handyI'm the guy to knowWhen your leaf blowerDoesn't blow

Patch the drywallClean your gutters and mow the lawn.Make that phone callI'll install anything you want (yeah)

Check my big staple gunMy socket wrenches are second to noneI won't quit 'till I'm doneDon't even care if I hammer my thumb (OOWWWW)

Still rocking my screwdriverGot the whole world thinking I'm McGyverYour heating bills are shockingI can solve that with some duck tape and some caulking

Your house is a disaster, huh?Need a guy who's a master with the plaster, huh?Let me be you stripperTaking off lacker, no one does it quicker

I'm so handyYou already knowI'll beat all price quotesMy hourly rates are low

I'm so handyYou should call this proI'm in the phone bookAnd se ablar espanol.

Here one can find the lyrics of the song Handy by Weird Al Yankovic. Or Handy poem lyrics. Weird Al Yankovic Handy text.