Lice
Kristina (to Ulrika)It's you! You've infested us all with lice!
UlrikaWe're going to settle this right now, Kristina from Korpamoen
Listen to this creature hereAlways so polite and niceDares to tell me I've got liceAsk my pardon on your knees
KristinaNot till Hell begins to freeze!Kneel to you - I'd sooner dieI'll embrace the devil first
UlrikaListen to your blasphemiesDon't you care if you are cursed?
DanjelSilence, in the name of peace
UlrikaShe must take it back, I sayEvery lying word of itOnce upon a time, perhapsI was young and strayed a bitJesus saved me from my shame
KristinaAnd "The Happy One" your name
UlrikaGonna show the lot of youThere's not a single louse on meYou look me over all you likeAnd not a bloody louse you'll see
KristinaWell, you are shaming every woman hereYou wanton woman, you are crazy
UlrikaYou're the one who has accused me
Ulrika & KristinaMay the Lord above forgive you
UlrikaThen Inga-Lena shall be my witness!Come with me and examine my clothes!
Fina-KajsaSpeaking of lice, do you know how thelouse was created?
Here's that story nowLet me tell you howOnce the Lord camedown to earth and washarassed by a beggar in the street
EmigrantsWhat did the Lord say?Fina-Kajsa"Get yourself a job!"Said Almighty God"I'm afraid that's not for me, good SirA krona, oh please, I got to eat"
EmigrantsWhat did the Lord do?
Fina-KajsaNever in the mood to carp or cavilGod Almighty grabbed a fist of gravelFlung all of it upon the sluggardWho was stunned and shouted: "I'll be buggered!"
Fina-Kajsa & EmigrantsEvery bit o'gravel as it hit himTurned into a little louse that bit him"Scratch till you drop" the good Lord statedThat is how the louse was first created!
UlrikaTell 'em all I spoke the truthDid you see a sign of liceAnywhere upon my skin?Tell'em all what you have seen
Inga-LenaShe is absolutely clean
UlrikaAbsolutely clean, you hear?Clean of lice and clean of fleas(Addressing Kristina)Now you take back every wordSay you're sorry, if you pleaseSay you're sorry on your knees
KristinaI would sooner rot in hellSooner leap into the seaKowtow to this Jezebel?It would be a blasphemyDon't you dare to talk to me!
UlrikaThank you for your kind advice
KristinaI still think you brought the lice
UlrikaDon't you come the high and mightyThinking you're a better classI ought to scratch your eyeballs outAnd shove'em up your bloody -
KristinaNever will I ask your pardonYou are cruel and hard'n you will never scare me
UlrikaYou're the one who has accused me
Ulrika & KristinaMay the Lord above forgive you
Fina-KajsaYou can put some lice in a sandwichTo give to a child who is hungryMakes a decent little snackAnd he can chew it. A baby can do it.It tastes a bit like toffee
EmigrantsThat's nice. Mmm mmm!
Fina-KajsaRecommend it with a cup of coffeeFina-Kajsa & EmigrantsEveryone in Sweden longs to get outEven little lice can't wait to set outScratch till you're rawYou'll never beat'emAny way you tryYou can't defeat'emLittle parasites who love to chew youPesky little mites, they'll chew right through youDrill through your skin and then start munchin'Have you for their breakfast, tea and luncheonCreeping and a-crawlingPestilential and appallingLice!