Confessions Part III
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These are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could sayI came up up with more secrets to tell you todayThese are my confessionsSlipped my mind the last two timesSilly me, so now I gotta give youpart three of my confessionsFirst I told you about the skankthat I was cheating withThen I mentioned she's having my kidThat's not all, now I recall more you see,so I'll give you part three of my confessions
Now this gonna bethe hardest thing I think I ever had to doGonna tell you everythingI left out of parts one and twoLike remember when I told youthat I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)That's a lie, I don't know what I said that forI borrowed your chap stick from youWithout askingI tried out your nose hair trimmer tooAnd by the way,your diamond ring is cubic zirconium1,I killed your goldfish accidentally,just replaced it with another one
These are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could sayI needed to get some things off my chest right awayThese are my confessionsSlipped my mind the last two timesSilly me, I guess I gotta give youpart three of my confessionsI threw up on your doglast time I had too much to drinkThere have been timeswhen I've peed in your sinkDon't know why,but you and I should agreethat belongs in part three of my confessions
Baby forgive meI'm still trying to figure outwhy I used your toothbrushto clean off the bathroom groutOh, and sometimes in private,I really like to dress up as Shirley Templeand spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)My boss thinks I'm a jerkDidn't get that raise.I haven't changed my underwearin twenty-seven daysAnd when I'm kissing youI fantasize you're a midgetI'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget!
These are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could sayI got a few more secrets I'd like to conveyThese are my confessionsSlipped my mind the last two timesSilly me, I guess I gotta give youpart three of my confessionsGave you buttered toast I droppedand then picked up off the floorFYI it was not a cold sore (not a cold sore)Oops my bad, but you'll be madder at mewhen I finish part three of my confessions
You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this,but you remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?Well, I returned it for store credit.That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week.I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic.Oh, and when I told you at breakfastwe were all out of Rice Krispies?What I meant wasthat there was only enough left for me.Sorry.
These are my confessionsJust when I thought I said all I could sayI thought of some more thingsthat should scare you awayThese are my confessionsSlipped my mind the last two timesSilly me, I guess I gotta give youpart three of my confessionsOnce I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your catAnd I lied, yes that dress makes you look fatAnyway, I shouldn't say anymore'til I give you part four of my confessions
I mean, I'm just getting started here.I'm not even halfway down the list!This thing go on for...H-hey, where ya goin'?Honey?What?Was it something I said?
(sighing) Women...