If I was the king
If I was the KingI would get myself a bitchin' crownAnd I'd make all the bitches call me Sir Michael StarrI'd have a castle and a bitchin' throneAnd at night I'd go in the townIn a big stretch Hummer with a hot tub and a bar
If I was the KingI would outlaw clothes for chicksSo you could see if the shaved their pussiesOr if they were hiding dicksI'd lower the drinking ageSo little kids could get drunk tooAnd I'd make it a fucking crime to wear a wedding ringIf I was the King
That'd be fuckin' nice right?
I'd knock down all the schoolsAnd put up licquor storesAnd give free boobjobs to the strippers and the whoresI would outlaw common senseFeed the homeless to the wolvesAnd if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!
If I was the KingI'd make beer the official foodAnd you'd never have to take the trash outIf you happen to be born a dudeYou could buy hand grenades at StarbucksAnd take a shit right on the streetAnd I'd kill Katy Perry so I wouldn't have to hear her singIf I was the King
Her comes the court jester man!
And if the motherfucking peasents didn't like itI would tell them all to suck my dickSuck my dickSuck my dick
Legalize masturbationAt every strip joint in the nationAnd the minimum cup size would have to be a double DOh yeahBut if you were in a bandYou wouldn't have to use your handThere'd be mandatory blowjobs for guys like you and me!
If I was the KingMegan Fox would be my QueenBut I'd still fuck Christie BrinkleyAnd any girl older than 16I'd execute One DirectionAnd drop a nuke on the Middle EastBut I'd take the oil first so we wouldn't have to feel the stingIf I was the KingIf I was the KingIf I was the King