My Dad's Gone Crazy
[Intro - Television show]Hello boys and girls!Today we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationshipsDo you have a daddy? I'll bet you do!Who's your daddy?
[*snorting*]
[Hailie] Daddy what are you doing?[Em + H] Okay then! Everybody, listen up![Eminem] I'm goin to hell! Who's comin with me?![Hailie] Somebody please help him! I think my dad's gone crazy!
[Verse 1]There's no mountain I can't climb, there's no tower too highNo plane that I can't learn how to flyWhat do I gotta do to get through to youTo show you there ain't nothing I can't take this chainsaw to[Hailie: Rahhnnn!] Fuckin' brains, brawn and brass ballsI cut em off and got em pickled and bronzed in a glass jarInside of a hall with my framed autographed sunglassesWith Elton John's name on my drag wallI'm out the closet, I've been lying my ass offAll this time me and Dre been fucking with hats off(Suck it Marshall!) So tell Laura and her husband to back off'fore I push this motherfuckin' button and blast offAnd launch one at these Russians and that's allBlow every fucking thing except Afghanistan on the map offWhen will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?{*knocking*} Hailie, tell em baby - (My dad's lost it!)
[Hook - Eminem + Hailie]There's really nothing else to say, I - I can't explain it(I think my dad's gone crazy!)A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell em baby(I think my dad's gone crazy!)There's nothing you could do or say that could ever change me(I think my dad's gone crazy!)There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie(I think my dad's gone crazy!)
[Verse 2]It's like my mother always told meRana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and CodeineAnd God dammit you little motherfuckerIf you ain't got nothing nice to say then don't say nothingUh, fuck that shit bitch!Eat a motherfucking dick, chew on a prickAnd lick a million motherfucking cocks per secondI'd rather put out a motherfucking gospel recordI'd rather be a pussy-whipped bitch, eat pussyAnd have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit ringIn my nose then quit bringing my flowsQuit giving me my ammo; can't you see why I'm so mean?If y'all leave me alone this wouldn't be my M.OI wouldn't have to go eenee-meene-minie-moeCatch a homo by his toe, man I don't know no moreAm I the only fuckin' one who's normal any more? (Dad!)
[Hook]
[Verse 3]My songs can make you cry, take you by surpriseAt the same time, can make you dry your eyesWith the same rhyme; see, what you're seeing is a genius at workWhich to me isn't workSo it's easy to misinterpret it at firstCause when I speak, it's tongue-in-cheekI'd yank my fuckin' teethBefore I'd ever bite my tongue, I'd slice my gumsGet struck by fuckin' lightning twice at onceAnd die and come back as Vanilla Ice's sonAnd walk around the rest of my life spit onAnd kicked and hit with shit every time I sungLike R. Kelly as soon as "Bump and Grind" comes onMore pain inside of my brain than the eyes of a little girlInside of a plane, aimed at the World TradeStanding on Ronnie's grave, screaming at the sky'til clouds gather it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie JadeAnd that's pretty much the gist of itThe parents are pissed but the kids love it9 millimeter heaters stashed in 2-seaters with meat cleaversI don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither
[Hook]
[Outro - Hailie]Ha ha ha ha!You're funny daddy!