Fairytale
Cinderella's on her bedroom floorShe's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store'Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymoreAnd she forgets why she came here
Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood for shameShe says, "None for you, dear Prince, I'm tired todayI'd rather sleep my whole life awayThan have you keep me from dreaming"
'Cause I don't care for your fairytalesYou're so worried 'bout the maidenThough you know she's only waitingOn the next best thing, next best thing
Snow White is doing dishes again'Cause what else could you do with seven itty-bitty men?Sends them to bed and she calls up a friendSays, "Would you meet me at midnight?"
The tall blond lets out a cry of despairSays, "Would've cut it myself if I knew men could climb hairI'll have to find another tower somewhereKeep away from the windows"
'Cause I don't care for your fairytalesYou're so worried 'bout the maidenThough you know she's only waitingOn the next best thing, next best thing
Once upon a time in a faraway kingdomMan made up a story, said that I should believe himGo and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsightBut I don't want the next best thing
So I sing, I hold my head downAnd I break these walls 'round meCan't take no more of your fairytale love
I don't care for your fairytalesYou're so worried 'bout the maidenThough you know she's only waitingOn the next best thing
I don't care, I don't careYou worry 'bout the maidenThough you know she's only waitingSpent her whole life being gradedOn the sanctity of patience
And a dumb appreciationBut the story needs some mendingAnd a better happy ending'Cause I don't want the next best thingNo, no, I don't want the next best thing