Canibitch
[Intro](I, I wanna grow up too)"Uncle Marshall, will you tell us a bedtime story?"Here we go:
[Verse 1]Now, once upon a time not long agoThere was a little rapper about to blowBut his album came, and it was not goodI think it went lead or double copper-woodSo these silly little fans, they were misledBy a nerdy internet computer hip-hop head"Me and you, Clef, we're gonna make some cashGrab this silver paint and just paint my ass"Hey mister, would you care to bear witness toThe ass-whippin I'm about to administerTo this ass-kissin little vaginal blister?Stanibus: little Marshall Mathers' sisterAnd in this corner, we have the "MrNot-Havin'-It," it's the Mad, sinisterDr. Evil, with his bag of tricks forThis little antagonistic faggotDick-sucking ex-LL Cool J fan from WindsorI'm 'bout to murder little Kenny-Fag-Kaniff-staYou bastard, I ain't wanna have to diss yaCanibus, where the fuck you at? I miss ya!
[Hook]Canibitch, oh, CanibitchWherefore art thou, Canibitch?Please tell me what happened withThat style that you were rappin' with
Canibitch, oh, CanibitchAre you from Los AngelesNew York, or just a janitorFrom Canada? Oh, Canibitch
[Verse 2]Now, at first, I ain't really understand this shitPicture me, for a second, and imagine it:Chillin' in the Bat Mansion relaxin'When all a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanners, it'sCanibitch, on some 'Stan Lives' shitIt creeped me out at first; man, this is sickBut me, bein' just as sick, this conflictGets my dick harder than arithmeticAnd I know how you jealous ones envyI shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent meThe first two letters, you were tellin' me shit likeYou respect me, like any other regular MCThe third letter, you asked how come I ain't returnNone of the messages at Shady Records you left me?The fourth letter: "Slim you're really startin' to upset me"The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get meThe sixth letter, there's a bomb threat on our buildingThis crazy motherfucker's really tryin' to kill meSo I went back and read the first few letters that saidSome shit about a message you leftOh shit! That's not a E, that's an A!This dude wants to leave me a 'massage,' he's gay!Right away, I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre:"We got a bogey," "Marshall, I'm on the way"
[Hook]
[Verse 3]So, in two seconds flat, Dre's at my cribOnly thing is, we both know where this kid livesAnd neither one of us have Canadian citizenship"Shit. Oh Dre, wait a minute, that's it!All we gotta do is use a bit of turbo-boostWe can fly over the border!" "Let's Go!" [whoosh][So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed impact, grunt]"What was that? Oh, Jermaine DupriFuck it," Keep goin', no time to waste"Wait, back up. Hit him one more time, in case"Okay," Fuck, now he's draggin' under the carOh well, Only thirty more thousand miles!"Meanwhile, me and Dre are tryin' to conversateJust tryin' to find a reason for the constant hateAnd tryin' to figure out what happened to 'Germaine Propane'"He couldn't have fell off that hard." Ain't no way!What happened to the way you was rappin' when you was scandalous?That Canibus turned into a television evangelist!Plus, he raps with his regular voice [four impacts]"What was that?" "Pet Shop Boys."So, we pull up to the bridge where he last was spottedHis corpse was still movin', but his ass was rottedAnd he kinda smelled a little like Courtney LoveI figured if I stick him with a fork, he's doneSo I stabbed him twice. Kept jabbin', Christ!He won't die! This guy's like a battered wife!He's like Kim: he keeps comin' back for moreBut he won't fight back. I cracked his jawHold up! 'Bis, quit foldin' up!Punch me in the chest, make my shoulders touchDo something! At least one punch line!Come on! Till the meter reads Nine! Nine! Nine-Ty nine percent of my fans are blond!'Bis, come on, answer me, man, respond!Tell me 'bout the sun, rain, moon and stars!Intergalactical metaphors from Mars!Raw to the floor, raw like "Reservoir Dogs"!Bite another line from Redman's song!Suddenly, the stub of a dead man's armFrom a midget Reaches out from under the carIt's J.D.! This motherfucker won't die, neither!Dre starts sprayin' him with cans of etherWe swamped the bitch in it; stomped the bitch again"Compton!" "Detroit, bitch, talk some shit again!Stomp him!" "Switch feet!" "Stomp him!" "Switch again!""Dre, all right, he's dead, dog, quit kickin' him!I think Stanibus jumped off the bridge again!" ("Ahh!")"Damn," "He disappeared, yo, he's gone, he did it again!"
[Hook]