I Am An Emotional Idiot

(From Love Is A Dog From Hell)

I’m an Emotional Idiotso get away from me.I mean,COME HERE.

Wait, no,that’s too close,give me some spaceit’s a big country,there’s plenty of room,don’t sit so close to me.

Hey, where are you?I haven’t seen you in days.Whadya, having an affair?Who is she?Come on,aren’t I enough for you?

God,You’re so cold.I never know what you’re thinking.You’re not very affectionate.

I mean,you’re clinging to me,DON’T TOUCH ME,what am I, your fucking cat?Don’t rub me like that.

Don’t you have anything better to dothan sit there fawning over me?

Don’t you have any interests?Hobbies?Sailing Fly fishingArcheology?

There’s an archeology expedition leaving tomorrowwhy don’t you go?I’ll loan you the money,my money is your money.my life is your lifemy soul is yourswithout you I’m nothing.

Move in with mewe’ll get a studio apartment together, save on rent,well, wait, I mean, a one bedroom,so we don’t get in each other’s hair or anythingor, well,maybe a two bedroomI’ll have my own bedroom,it’s nothing personalI just need to be alone sometimes,you do understand,don’t you?

Hey, why are you acting distant?

Where you goin’,was it something I said?What...What did I do?

I’m an emotional idiotso get away from meI mean,MARRY ME.