A Complicated Song
Uh huh ... extra cheeseUh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me
Pizza party at your houseI went just to check it outNineteen extra largesWhat a shameNo one came
Just us eatin' all aloneYou said, "Take the pizza home""No sense lettin' all this go to waste"So then I faced
Pizza all dayAnd every dayThis cheese 'round the clockIs gettin' me blockedAnd I sure don't careFor irregularity
Tell meWhy'd you have to go and make me so constipated?'Cause right now I'd do anythingto just get my bowels evacuatedIn the bathroomI sit and I wait and I strainAnd I sweat and I clench and I feel the painOh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?No no no
I was feelin' pretty down'Till my girlfriend came aroundWe're just so alike in every wayI gotta say
In fact, I just thought I mightPop the question there that nightI was kissing her so tenderlyBut woe is me
Who would have guessedHer family crestI'd suddely spyTattooed on her thighAnd son-of-a-gunIt's just like the one on me
Tell meHow was I supposed to know we were both related?Believe me, if I knew she was my cousinwe never would have datedWhat to do now? Should I go ahead and proposeAnd get hitched and have kids with eleven toesAnd move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?No no no no no no noNo no no no no no noNo no no no no
I had so much on my mindI thought maybe I'd unwindTry out that new roller coaster rideAnd the guide
Said not to standBut that's a demandThat I couldn't meetI got on my feetAnd stood up insteadAnd knocked off my head, you see
Tell meWhy'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate itSuch a drag, nowCan't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snoreI can't belch or yodel anymoreCan't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh noWhy'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?(yeah, yeah)I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritatedWhat a bummerCan't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeezeBut my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze nowHaven't been the same since my head and I were separatedNo no no