Mean Mr. Mustard
Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the parkShaves in the dark trying to save paperSleeps in a hole in the roadSaving up to buy some clothesKeeps a ten-bob note up his noseSuch a mean old manSuch a mean old man
His sister Pam works in a shopShe never stops, she's a go-getterTakes him out to look at the queenOnly place that he's ever beenAlways shouts out something obsceneSuch a dirty old manDirty old man