(I never knew I) Mic check one-two
(I never knew I) Who would have knew?
(I never knew I) Who woulda known?
(I never knew I) Fuck woulda thought?
(I never knew I) Mothafucka comes out
(I never knew I) And sells a couple of million records
(I never knew I) And these mothafuckas hit the ceiling
I don't do black music, I don't do white music
I make fight music, for high school kids
I put lives at risk when I drive like this
I put wives at risk with a knife like this
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck, with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waiting to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh, you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fucking eyeballs out and turn them around?
Look, I'll burn your fucking house down, circle around
And hit the hydrant, so you can't put your burnin' furniture out (Oh my God!)
I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix up lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked?
Fuck that, take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryna censor music, this is for your kid's amusement (The kids!)
But don't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace
You shoulda been watching him, apparently you ain't parents
Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
So who's bringing the guns in this country?
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week, I seen this Schwarzenegger movie
Where he's shooting all sorts of these mothafuckas with an uzi
I sees three little kids, up in the front row
Screaming go, with their 17-year-old Uncle
I'm like, "Guidance.. ain't they got the same moms and dads
Who got mad when I asked if they liked violence?"
And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear
What about the make-up you allow your 12-year-old daughter to wear?
So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
When his bus driver's screaming at him, fucking him up worse
(Go sit the fuck down, you little fucking prick!)
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
Up in the third grade, flipping the gym teacher the bird (Look!)
So read up 'bout how I used to get beat up
Peed on, be on free lunch and changed school every 3 months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like (What?)
Fucked up after I beat her fucking ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be
If 19 million mothafuckas grew to be just like me?
I never knew I.. knew I'd have a new house or a new car
A couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shooby-de-doo-wop (what?)
Skibbedy-be-bop, a Christopher Reeve
Sonny Bono, skis, horses and hitting some trees
How many retards'll listen to me
And run up in the school shooting when they're pissed at a tea-
-cher, her, him, is it you, is it them?
"Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!"
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man, I'm just as fucked up as you woulda been
If you woulda been in my shoes, but who woulda thought
That Slim Shady would be something that you woulda bought?
That woulda made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it, I ain't know if you'd do it or not
How the fuck was I supposed to know?