When You're Evil
When the Devil is too busyAnd Death's a bit too muchThey call on me by name you see,For my special touch.To the Gentlemen I'm Miss FortuneTo the Ladies I'm Sir PrizeBut call me by any nameAny way it's all the same
I'm the fly in your soupI'm the pebble in your shoeI'm the pea beneath your bedI'm a bump on every headI'm the peel on which you slipI'm a pin in every hipI'm the thorn in your sideMakes you wriggle and writhe
And it's so easy when you're evilThis is the life, you seeThe Devil tips his hat to meI do it all because I'm evilAnd I do it all for freeYour tears are all the pay I'll ever need
While there's children to make sadWhile there's candy to be hadwhile there's pockets left to pickWhile there's grannies left to trip down the stairsI'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the cornerIt's a game. I'm glad I'm in it'Cause there's one born every minute
And it's so easy when you're evilThis is the life, you seeThe Devil tips his hat to meI do it all because I'm evilAnd I do it all for freeYour tears are all the pay I'll ever need
I pledge my allegiance, to all things darkAnd I promise on my damned soulTo do as I am told, Lord BeelzebubHas never seen a soldier quite like meNot only does his job, but does it happily.
I'm the fear that keeps you awakeI'm the shadows on the wallI'm the monsters they becomeI'm the nightmare in your skullI'm a dagger in your backAn extra turn upon the rackI'm the quivering of your heartA stabbing pain, a sudden start.
And it's so easy when you're evilThis is the life, you seeThe Devil tips his hat to meI do it all because I'm evilAnd I do it all for freeYour tears are all the pay I'll ever needAnd I do it all for freeYour tears are all the pay I'll ever needAnd I do it all for freeYour tears are all the pay I'll ever need
It gets so lonely being evilWhat I'd do to see a smileEven for a little whileAnd no one loves you when you're evilI'm lying through my teeth!Your tears are all the company I need