Poor Unfortunate Souls
I admit that in the past I've been a nastyThey weren't kidding when they called me kinda strangeBut you'll find that nowadaysI've mended all my waysRepented, seen the light, and made a changeAnd I fortunately know a little secretIt's a talent that I always have possessedAnd dear lady, please don't laughI use it on behalfOf the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate soulsIn painIn needThis one longing to be thinnerThat one wants to get the girlAnd do I help them?Yes, indeed!Those poor unfortunate soulsSo sadSo trueThey come flocking to me crying"Will you help us, pretty please?"And I help them!Yes I do!
The men up there don't like a lot of blabberThey think a girl who gossips is a bore!Yes on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a wordAnd after all dear, what is idle prattle for?They're not all that impressed with conversationTrue gentlemen avoid it when they canBut they dote and swoon and fawnOn ladies who withdrawnIt's she who holds her tongue who gets a man
Poor unfortunate soulsGo ahead!Make your choice!I'm a very busy person and I haven't got all dayIt won't cost muchJust your voice!Those poor unfortunate soulsSo sadSo trueIf you wanna cross the bridge, my sweetYou've got the pay the tollTake a gulpTake a breathGo aheadSign the scrollNick and KevinNow I've got her, boysThe boss is on a rollYou poor unfortunate souls
In painIn needThis one longing to be thinnerThat one wants to get the girlAnd do I help them?Yes, indeed!Those poor unfortunate soulsSo sadSo trueThey come flocking to me crying"Will you help us, pretty please?"And I help them!Yes I do!
Those poor unfortunate souls