Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me
Oh, the sand keeps falling through the hourglassAnd there’s no way you’re going to slow it downYou say we got to treasure each momentWho knows how long we’re gonna be aroundYeah, you keep on telling me life is shortAnd its hard to disagree with what you sayBut if time is so precious why ya wasting mine‘Cause I’m always reading, always deletingEvery useless piece of garbage that you send my way
Every stupid hoax, all those corny jokesStop forwarding that crap to meWell, I don’t need tons of cringe inducing punsStop forwarding that crap to me
No, it isn’t ok if you brighten my dayWith some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetryAnd I didn’t request a personality testStop forwarding that crap to me
You’re sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachmentsto every single person you knowYou’re passing around a link to some dumb thing on YouTubethat everybody else already saw three years ago
And wacky, badly Photoshopped billboards were never that amusing to meAnd I just can’t believe you believe those urban legendsBut I have high hopes that someone will point you toward SnopesAnd debunk that crazy junk you’re spewing constantly
No, I don’t want a bowl of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”Stop forwarding that crap to meSend more top 10 lists and I’ll slash my wristsPlease stop forwarding that crap to me
Well, I’m sorry I can’t accept your paranoid rantAnd I don’t want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipeWon’t you kindly refrain ‘cause it’s hurting my brainStop forwarding that crap to me
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody’s catNow tell me in what alternate reality will I care about something like that?And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren’t really George CarlinMr. Rogers never fought the Viet CongAnd Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothingAnd I really doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me if I don’t pass her letter along
Well, now I know you’re wishing I’ll sign your petitionBut stop forwarding that crap to meAnd I don’t want to read your series of conspiracy theoriesJust stop forwarding that crap to me
And your two million loser friends all have my addressNow ‘cause you never figured out the way to BCCBut now I gotta insist, take me off of your listStop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me(This line repeats to end while the following is interjected:)
Just stop it now…Oh no…I can’t take it…..Aw please…You gotta stop…Right now…I’m not kidding…At the risk of being slightly repetitious gonna ask you now to stopSending me that crapI don’t want it, don’t send it to meNow don’t send it to meJust stop…Stop forwarding that crap to me, to me