You Can't Rap
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from FulhamPlease put down the mic, there's no way you can fool themDon't be stupid, you wont get that farTurn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
Of all the possibilities I ever coulda chosenSupposing career wise I'd picked Hip HopImagine all the tip top rapper's bottom lips dropSitting there shocked that some other bloody shit hot
Dude with a mullet, bussin shorts, wearing flip flopsIs spitting to a gathering looking like a criss crossOf fans loving Prodigy, Kylie and SlipknotNearly coulda happened bro, look at me, I shit not
Little Elliot rhymes for the hell of itIf only he was ghetto mans, maybe we would sell a bitI tried hard to dig up the credentialsEven thought about putting gold in my dentals
An Anglo Saxon with a broken accentBut rappers from Fulham get a strange reactionI said bye to Rap, saw the issue at handSome guitar lessons later, formed my own band
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from FulhamPlease put down the mic, there's no way you can fool themDon't be stupid, you wont get that farTurn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
Attention seeking, how far should a man go?Cut his ear off like Vincent Van GoghDash cash to the crowd so the venue scramblesTurn my good life into a baby shambles
Fuck myself up real properly like Pete DohertyCover of heat, I'm hot propertyEverybody's clocking me, I own the crowdThen I gotta link me up with a girls aloud
Next, exchange vows now my pop's is proudThere's a nine on my cloud, I'm as pleased as I ever been, broMans flash like Jose MourinhoWomen crave me like bottles of pinot
Now I've got big I can fight photographersBang the obvious, please biographersSpend currency 'til there ain't none leftAnd when I need more I'll fake my own death
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from FulhamPlease put down the mic, there's no way you can fool themDon't be stupid, you wont get that farTurn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
Right now it's just hit and miss, soon I'll taste a bit of blissBanging chicks at worst with looks like Jayne MiddlemissNever doing hideous, it's too bad for businessI spin when they grin with skin like Darth Sidious
Never out-riddle this, all chattin' gibberishVerbal diarrhea so you're never getting rid of thisI hear your retorts, there's all sorts like liquoriceI can sense your bitterness, you wishing you written this
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from FulhamPlease put down the mic, there's no way you can fool themDon't be stupid, you wont get that farTurn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from FulhamPlease put down the mic, there's no way you can fool themDon't be stupid, you wont get that far