Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches
Miss Lucy had some leechesHer leeches liked to suckAnd when they drank up all her bloodShe didn't give a
Funny when the doctorsHad locked her in her cellMiss Lucy screamed all night that theyShould go to bloody
Hello to the surgeonWith scalpel old and bluntHe'll tie you to the tableThen he'll mutilate your
Come it's nearly teatimeThe lunatics arriveThe keepers bleed them all untilThere's no one left a
Lively little rodentsAre eaten up by catsWe're subject to experimentsLike laboratory
Rats I've dropped a teacupHow easily they breakI'm on my hands and knees untilI pay for my mis-
Take off all your clothingWe've only just begunWe have no anesthesiaIt's eighteen forty
One thing we should tell youBefore you try againThe tests are invented byA lot of filthy
Mentally hystericShe's failed the examDon't bother telling Lucy forShe doesn't give a
Damn that's nitrous oxideFor when you can't escapeThey say the surgeons oft commitA murder or a
Razor-blades are rustyAnd not a lot of funSo when they try to amputateYour legs you'd better
Run and fetch the chemistA patient's feeling sadShe's been in chains for agesAnd she isn't even
Madness is a nuisanceAnd no one is immuneYour sister, mum or daughterMay become a raving
Lunatics are dangerousAnd doctors are obeyedThey also go together justLike toast and marma-
Ladies are like childrenWith brains the size of squirrelsLet's give a clitoridectomiesTo all the little
Girls are helpless treasuresThat daddies must protectSo lie upon the tableFor the doctors to in-
Speculums are superAnd stirrups all the rageSo spread a lady's legs and then put herBack in to her
Cage of naked craziesThe surgeon's here to bleedThe doctors are all learned menAnd some can even
Reading can be riskyFor women on the vergeIt only did us worlds of goodTo poison, leech and
Purging is a penancePhlebotomy's a choreNo need to sterilize the toolsWe never did be-
Fore the night is overBefore you go to bedThey'll take a hammer and nailAnd jam it in your
Headstones in the courtyardAnd statues in the parkAre not for the insaneJust leave them rotting in the
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