Cabinet Battle #1
[WASHINGTON]Ladies and gentlemen, you coulda been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in New York City. Are you ready for a cabinet meeting?
The issue on the table: Secretary Hamilton’s plan to assume state debt and establish a national bank. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir
[JEFFERSON]‘Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’We fought for these ideals; we shouldn’t settle for lessThese are wise words, enterprising men quote ‘emDon’t act surprised, you guys, cuz I wrote ‘em
[JEFFERSON/MADISON]Oww
[JEFFERSON]But Hamilton forgetsHis plan would have the government assume state’s debtsNow, place your bets as to who that benefits:The very seat of government where Hamilton sits
[HAMILTON]Not true!
[JEFFERSON]Ooh, if the shoe fits, wear itIf New York’s in debt—Why should Virginia bear it? Uh! Our debts are paid, I’m afraidDon’t tax the South cuz we got it made in the shadeIn Virginia, we plant seeds in the groundWe create. You just wanna move our money aroundThis financial plan is an outrageous demandAnd it’s too many damn pages for any man to understandStand with me in the land of the freeAnd pray to God we never see Hamilton’s candidacyLook, when Britain taxed our tea, we got friskyImagine what gon’ happen when you try to tax our whisky
[WASHINGTON]Thank you, Secretary Jefferson. Secretary Hamilton, your response
[HAMILTON]Thomas. That was a real nice declarationWelcome to the present, we’re running a real nationWould you like to join us, or stay mellowDoin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?If we assume the debts, the union getsA new line of credit, a financial diureticHow do you not get it? If we’re aggressive and competitiveThe union gets a boost. You’d rather give it a sedative?A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighborYour debts are paid cuz you don’t pay for labor“We plant seeds in the South. We create.”Yeah, keep rantingWe know who’s really doing the plantingAnd another thing, Mr. Age of EnlightenmentDon’t lecture me about the war, you didn’t fight in itYou think I’m frightened of you, man?We almost died in a trenchWhile you were off getting high with the FrenchThomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the PresidentReticent—there isn’t a plan he doesn’t jettisonMadison, you’re mad as a hatter, son, take your medicineDamn, you’re in worse shape than the national debt is inSittin’ there useless as two shitsHey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show youWhere my shoe fits
[WASHINGTON]Excuse me? Madison, Jefferson, take a walk! Hamilton, take a walk! We’ll reconvene after a brief recess. Hamilton!
[HAMILTON]Sir!
[WASHINGTON]A word
[MADISON]You don’t have the votes
[JEFFERSON/MADISON]You don’t have the votes
[JEFFERSON]Aha-ha-ha ha!
[JEFFERSON/MADISON]You’re gonna need congressional approval and you don’t have the votes
[JEFFERSON]Such a blunder sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder
[MADISON]Why he even brings the thunder…
[WASHINGTON]You wanna pull yourself together?
[HAMILTON]I’m sorry, these Virginians are birds of a feather
[WASHINGTON]Young man, I’m from Virginia, so watch your mouth
[HAMILTON]So we let Congress get held hostage by the South?
[WASHINGTON]You need the votes
[HAMILTON]No, we need bold strokes. We need this plan
[WASHINGTON]No, you need to convince more folks
[HAMILTON]James Madison won’t talk to me, that’s a nonstarter
[WASHINGTON]Winning was easy, young man. Governing’s harder
[HAMILTON]They’re being intransigent
[WASHINGTON]You have to find a compromise
[HAMILTON]But they don’t have a plan, they just hate mine!
[WASHINGTON]Convince them otherwise
[HAMILTON]What happens if I don’t get congressional approval?
[WASHINGTON]I imagine they’ll call for your removal
[HAMILTON]Sir—
[WASHINGTON]Figure it out, Alexander.That’s an order from your commander