Hardware Store

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this townFeelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around hereI thought that I would go right out of my mindUntil a friend told me the news

He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lotRight beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought itAnd on that spot they're gonna build a shopWhere we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air (air)I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't careI've been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arriveI'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be insideWell, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)When are they gonna open up that door?I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to theGoin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to theGoin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to theHardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnightRight in front of the store, then as soon as it was light outI pressed my nose right up against the glassYou know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broomWant a pair of pliers for every single room of my houseSee those hacksaws? Very, very soonOne of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aislesRows of garden hoses that go on for miles and milesBrand new socket wrenches in a plethora of stylesAll arranged alphabetically

And they're doing a promotional stuntThere's a great big purple sign out frontThat says every 27th customerWill get a ball peen hammer free

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to theGoin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to theGoin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to theHardware store

Would you look at all that stuff ...They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders,toilet seats, electric heatersTrash compactors, juice extractor,shower rods and water metersWalkie-talkies, copper wires,safety goggles, radial tiresBB pellets, rubber mallets,fans and dehumidifiersPicture hangers, paper cutters,waffle irons, window shuttersPaint removers, window louvres,masking tape and plastic guttersKitchen faucets, folding tables,weather stripping, jumper cablesHooks and tackle, grout and spackle,power foggers, spoons and ladlesPesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubricationMetal roofing, water proofing,multi-purpose insulationAir compressors, brass connectors,wrecking chisels, smoke detectorsTire guages, hamster cages,thermostats and bug deflectorsTrailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisersTennis rackets, angle brackets,Duracells and EnergizersSoffit panels, circuit breakers,vacuum cleaners, coffee makersCalculators, generators,matching salt and pepper shakers

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to theGoin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to theGoin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to theHardware store

Weird Al Yankovic "Hardware Store" lyrics

Hardware Store