Broken Hearts are for Assholes
Hey! Do you know what you are?You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE!
Some of you might not agree'Cause you probably likes a lot of miseryBut think a while and you will see...Broken hearts are for assholesBroken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?Broken hearts are for assholesAre you an asshole too?Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole...
Maybe you think you're a lonely guyMaybe you think you're too tough to crySo you went to The Grape,Just to give it a try
And DagmarWithout a doubt, the ugliest son of a bitch I ever saw in my lifeWas his name...One Two Three Four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of hisPancake make-upAnd yet he was a beautiful ladyNearly drove you insane
Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRRAnd so you kissed a little sailorTex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:Who had just blew in from Spain
Sir Richard Pump-A-LoafYou sniffed the reeking buns of AngelThe story of a demented bread-bofferAnd acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loafYou were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-KoThen on Tuesday night, Caesar's back in townIn a way you can't explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge matchWith Kona.And so you worked the wall with MichaelThree-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strainVolcanic HellBut you came back on Sunday for the gong showNext Thursday, teen town's finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin''Cause you're an asshole, You're an assholeThat's rightYou're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yesYou're an asshole, you're an assholeThat's rightYou're an asshole, you're an asshole
Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole
You say you can't live with what you been throughWell, ladies you can be an asshole tooYou might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,But don't fool yourself girl
It's lookin' at youDon't fool yourself girlIt's winkin' at youDon't fool yourself girl
It's blinkin' at youThat's why I sayI'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram itRam it up yer poop chute
Corn holeRam it, ram it, ram itRam it up yer poop chuteFist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram itRam it up yer poop chuteWrist-watch; CriscoRam it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chutePud!
Don't fool yourself, girlIt's goin' right up yer poop chuteDon't fool yourself, girlIt's goin' right up yer poop chute(etc., repeats)
Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...