Crew Slut
[Act I]
But one night, at theSocial Club meeting Mary didn't show up...She was sucking cock backstage at The ArmoryIn order to get a pass To see some big rock group for free...
[SCENE FOUR][CREW SLUT]
Backstage at the local Armory, MARY, in her little white dress,is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her mouthas LARRY (the guy from the garage who quit the band in order to makean honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler suit and singsto the same teen-age girls who were stomping and clapping a little while ago,as they kneel with their little pink mouths open near the crew bus,hoping to save the price of admission by performing acts of Hooverism onthe jolly lads who set up the P. A. System.
[LARRY:]Hey Hey Hey all you girls in theseIndustrial townsI know you're prob'ly gettin' tiredOf all the local clownsThey never give you no respectThey never treat you niceSo perhaps you oughta tryA little friendly advice
And be a CREW SLUTHey, you 'll love itBe a CREW SLUTIt's a way of lifeBe a CREW SLUTSee the worldDon't make a fuss, just get on the busCREW SLUTAdd water, makes its own sauceBe a CREW SLUTSo you don't forget, call before midnite toniteThe boys in the crewAre fust waiting for you
You never get to move aroundYou never go nowhereI know yer prob'ly gettin' tiredOf all the guys out thereYou always wondered what it's likeTo go from place to placeSo, darlin', take a little rideOn the mixer's face
Be a CREW SLUTJust follow the magic footprintsBe a CREW SLUTHey, you'll love it!Be a CREW SLUTIt's a way of lifeI ain't gonna squash itAnd you don't need to wash it!CREW SLUTHey, I'll buy you a pizzaCREW SLUTOf course I'll introduce you to WarrenThe boys in the crewAre only waiting for you
At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time,borrow some of the big rock group's equipment and have a blues jamsession, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they are endowed witha great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. Obviously impressedwith LARRY'S ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screechinglittle noises come out of it, MARY kneels again and reaches upward ingestures of supplication, listening intently as LARRY continues to sing...
[LARRY:]Well you been to Alabama, girl,'N' Georgia too'N' all the boys in thecrewIs bein' good to youI know yer sayin' to yourself'This is the way to go'Cause when you need a little extraThey will give you some mo''Cause you're the CREW SLUT
[MARY:]I'm into leather...
[LARRY:]That s good! A lot of the boys in the crewLove leather...
[MARY:]And rubber...
[LARRY:]Yeh, they like rubber too... shrink- tubingWith a hair dryer...
[ROAD CREW CHORUS:]Trade your spot on the benchFor a guy with a wrench
[MARY:]Ha ha ha...
[LARRY:]You like that, huh?I told you you'd love it...It's a way of life!
[ROAD CREW CHORUS:]The guys in the crewHave got a present for you!
[MARY:]A present for me?
[LARRY:] We got a present for you!
[MARY:]Whaddya got?Whaddya gonna give me?
[LARRY:]It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47You'll love it...
[MARY:] With leather?
[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:]Eherrr, eh eh...This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again...And so MARY was enticed away from JoeBy an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocketLured into a life of SLEAZERYWith the entire road crew of some Famous Rock Group (I don't know whether itwas Toad-O... I don't know... I'll check it out)Again we see MUSICCausing BIG TROUBLE!