Alfie

Oooh deary me,My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weedI tell him he should get up 'cos it's nearly half past threeHe can't be bothered 'cos he's high on THC

I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of teaI can't even see him 'cos his room is so smokyDon't understand how one can watch so much TVMy baby brother Alfie, how I wish that you could see

I only say it 'cos I care,So please can you stop pulling my hair?Now, now there's no need to swear,Please don't despair my dear mon frère

Oooh Alfie get up it's a brand new dayI just can't sit back and watch you waste your life awayYou need to get a job because the bills need to get paidGet off your lazy arse, Alfie please use your brain

Surely there's some walls out there that you can go and sprayI'm feeling guilty for leading you astrayNow how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laidWhen all you do is stay and play on your computer games?

I only say it 'cos I care,So please can you stop pulling my hair?Now, now there's no need to swearPlease don't despair my dear mon frère

Oh, little brother, please refrain from doing thatI'm trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat?It's time that you and I sat down and had a little chat,And look me in the eyes, take off that stupid fitted cap

I only say it 'cos I care,So please can you stop pulling my hair?Now, now there's no need to swearPlease don't despairPlease don't despairMy mon frère