This Grudge
Fourteen yearsThirty minutesFifteen seconds I'veHeld this grudge
Eleven songsFour full journalsThoughts of punishmentI've expended
Not in contactNot a letterSuch communicationTelepathicYou've been vilifiedUsed as fodderYou deserve a pieceOf every record
But who's it hurting now?Who's the one that's stuck?Who's it torturing nowWith an antique knot in her stomach?
I wanna be big and let goOf this grudge that's grown oldAll this time I've not knownHow to rest this bygoneI wanna be soft and resolvedClean of slate and releasedI wanna forgive for the both of us
Like an abandoned houseDusty coveredFurnitureStill intactIf I visit it nowWill I simply re-live itSomehow gratuitous
But who's still aching now?Who's tired of her own voice?Who is it weighing downWith no gift from time of said healing
I wanna be big and let goOf this grudge that's grown oldAll this time I've not knownHow to rest this bygoneI wanna be soft and resolvedClean of slate and releasedI wanna forgive for the both of us
Maybe as I cut the cordVeils will lift from my eyesMaybe as I lay this to restDead weight off my shoulders will rise
Here I sitMuch determinedEver ill-equippedTo draw this curtainHow this has entertainedValidatedAnd has served me greatlyEver the victim
But who's done whining now?Who's ready to put downThis load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember
I wanna be big and let goOf this grudge that's grown oldFor the life of me I've not knownHow to rest this bygoneI wanna be soft and resolvedClean of slate and releasedI wanna forgive for the both of us.