Stagger Lee
It was back in '32 when times were hardHe had a Colt .45 and a deck of cardsStagger LeeHe wore rat-drawn shoes and an old stetson hatHad a '28 Ford, had payments on thatStagger LeeHis woman threw him out in the ice and snowAnd told him, "Never ever come back no more"Stagger LeeSo he walked through the rain and he walked through the mudTill he came to a place called The Bucket Of BloodStagger LeeHe said "Mr Motherfucker, you know who I am"The barkeeper said, "No, and I don't give a good goddamn"To Stagger LeeHe said, "Well bartender, it's plain to seeI'm that bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee"Mr. Stagger LeeBarkeep said, "Yeah, I've heard your name down the wayAnd I kick motherfucking asses like you every day"Mr Stagger LeeWell those were the last words that the barkeep said'Cause Stag put four holes in his motherfucking head
Just then in came a broad called Nellie BrownWas known to make more money than any bitch in townShe struts across the bar, hitching up her skirtOver to Stagger Lee, she starts to flirtWith Stagger LeeShe saw the barkeep, said, "O God, he can't be dead!"Stag said, "Well, just count the holes in the motherfucker's head"She said, "You ain't look like you scored in quite a time.Why not come to my pad? It won't cost you a dime"Mr. Stagger Lee"But there's something I have to say before you beginYou'll have to be gone before my man Billy Dilly comes in,Mr. Stagger Lee""I'll stay here till Billy comes in, till time comes to passAnd furthermore I'll fuck Billy in his motherfucking ass"Said Stagger Lee"I'm a bad motherfucker, don't you knowAnd I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy's asshole"Said Stagger LeeJust then Billy Dilly rolls in and he says, "You must beThat bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee"Stagger Lee"Yeah, I'm Stagger Lee and you better get down on your kneesAnd suck my dick, because If you don't you're gonna be dead"Said Stagger LeeBilly dropped down and slobbered on his headAnd Stag filled him full of leadOh yeah.