The Man Who Couldn't Cry
There once was a man who just couldn't cryHe hadn't cried for years and yearsNapalmed babies and the movie Love StoryFor instance could not produce tearsAs a child he had cried as all children willThen at some point his tear ducts ran dryHe grew to be a man, the feces hit the fanThings got bad, but he couldn't cry
His dog was ran over, his wife up and left himAnd after that he got sacked from his jobLost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whoreAh, but still not a sniffle or sob
His novel was refused, his movie was pannedAnd his big Broadway show was a flop
He got sent to jail; you guessed it, no bailOh, but still not a dribble or a drop
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggeredAnd made to make license platesWater and bread was all he was fedBut not once did a tear stain his face
Doctors were called in, scientists, tooTheologians were last and practically least
They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puffBut in fact a insensitive beast
He was removed from the jail and placed in a placeFor the insensitive and the insaneHe played lots of chess and made lots of friendsAnd he wept every time it would rain
Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nightsAnd he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
On the forty-first day, he passed awayHe just dehydrated and died
Well, he went up to heaven, located his dogNot only that, but he rejoined his armDown below, all the critics, they loot it all backCancer robbed the whore of her charm
Hi ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went brokeThe theologians were finally found out
Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned downThe earth suffered perpetual drought