Don't You Want To Share The Guilt?
BBQ food is goodYou invite me out to eat it, I shouldGo, but I'm feeling kind of nervousAnd not quite myselfSo I'm running late on purposeAnd I know this won´t helpHow things have become between usBut if I go you'll give me hellAnd that I don´t know how to fix itIs making me unwell, wellI arrive at your houseBut you've just got upAnd you are wearing a towelAnd your eyes look darkI help to dry your bodyAnd I see your cutSo I give you a plasterAnd we cover it upI say "Have you been crying?"And you say "Shut Up"So we sit in the gardenAnd touch the grassWith our hands
The sun is going down nowAnd it's been okayYou tell me all these things you didWhile I was awayAnd this worries me somewhat
You say you're fineListenCan you hear it?Does it speak?Will I feel it?Will it hurt?Am I near it?I dont know
I dont know how more people haven´t got mental health problemsThinking is one of those stressful things I've ever come acrossAnd not being able to articulate what I want to say drives me crazyI think I should try and read more booksAnd learn some new wordsMy sister used to read the dictionaryI'm going to start with thatI'd like to travelI want to see India and the pyramidsA whale and that race with all the bicycles in FranceI'm not sure about rivers, they scare meBut I love swimming, I'm good at itAnd when I swim I think about numbersAnd count the lapsWhen I was younger I saw a house burnt downAnd I walked past it everyday for the next six yearsDerelict, black, chalky and dangerousI wondered if squatters lived thereI'm still not sure but I know there were never any parties cuz it was shitAfter a while the council got round to tidying out the townMaking it less offensive here and thereThey said it was an eyesore so they let tore it downBehind the house was a wall with a few bits of crappy graffiti and the word 'Cunt' written on it in giant lettersAnd now I walk past that
I like sitting in the parkAnd I like walking through itI like taking my dogs thereAnd friends, and I like being aloneI like flowers and simplicityI like compassion and thoughtful giftsI like being able to shoutBut I wish I could be quietWhen I'm quiet people think I'm sadAnd usually I am
Sometimes when I'm at a busy train stationSomewhere big with the noisy trains like King´s CrossI feel like putting down my bags and shouting things out because I've got something to sayDon't you want to share the guilt?Don't think, just try and sleep