Girls! Girls! Girls!
Step right upWe bring to you the finest entertainmentAnd I am pleased to be your humble servantAccept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality
Step right upWe've something here for everyone's enjoymentI do this as a gift, not for employmentA portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity
Come see our girls, crazy girlsIf you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a rideThose girls, crazy girlsThey're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidalTickets cheap, it's a crimeAnd they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dimeTo see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited timeCome see the girls, girls, girls
Some of them are really quite attractive as you seeSome are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agreeWhile others still look rather quite a lot like you and meBut you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule
You shouldn't look this one too long in the eyeAnd that one, let's just keep walking byThese ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supplyGrab another cup of tea, and follow me
To see our girls, crazy girlsIf you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a rideThose girls, crazy girlsThey're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidalTickets cheap, it's a crimeAnd they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dimeTo see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited timeCome see the girls, girls, girls
Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guideFor a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide.
Quiet down! You, sirIf insanity's primarily a femininish malady,And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact,Then according to the medics, have they faultier genetics?Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?
It has all to do with reproductive organsWhich are naturally unstable in a dameYou see from lunar, we have, lunacy and lunatic and loonyAnd they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony
I have a questionHas any patient ever been releasedWould you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease?For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduceSo while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose
Come see the girls, crazy girlsIf you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a rideThose girls, crazy girlsThey're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidalTickets cheap, it's a crimeAnd they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dimeTo see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited timeCome see the girls, girls, girls
Some are born madSome achieve madnessSome have madness thrust upon themThis is the real thing my friends, guaranteed 100 percent, authentic, mentally-illAccept no imitationsFor a little extra on the side, you can arrangeFor a slightly more intimate encounter, wink winkFor a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmatesWe've got pills for depression, obsession, aggression, possession, indiscretion,There's a bloody pill for everything nowadays!
How big is a lady's brain?It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strainThis seems just a bit inhumaneThat's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain
You see, they're really more like animals than peopleWhich has been proven haven't any souls at all.The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posteriorAnd these are only useful in a seedy music hall
They don't bite, well they mightI say this one does look hungry tonightSo get your picture with an inmateBut be sure she's locked up tight
They're practically wild sirProtect your child sirThey can't recall the taste of freedomThey're just happy if we feed them
So point and laugh, it isn't badThey oughtn't mind because they're mad!If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearlsYou're welcome to enjoy
Our girls, crazy girlsIf you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a rideThose girls, crazy girlsThey're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidalTickets cheap, it's a crimeAnd they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dimeTo see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhymeSo ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncutYour corsets tight, your morals highYour knitting neat, your yappers shutThis is what comes of over-educating,mentally over-stimulating,too much serious conversating,organized religion-hating,sinful over-copulating,marriage without pro-creating,girl-on-girl caught lesbiating,she was caught while masturbating,they all mind manipulating,chronically hallucinating,certainly there's no debating,some we just find fascinating,women's rights facilitating,independent thought creating,she just may be complicating,get your money out we're waiting
To see thoseGirls!Girls!Girls!