Bagpipes from Baghdad
(Intro)Oh! It's music to my ears, Oh man!How can I describe, the way I feel?Fuckin great man! Okay, let me see...How could I begin...
[Verse 1]Locked in Mariah's wine cellar all I had for lunchWas bread, wine, more bread, wine and Captain CrunchRed wine for breakfast and for brunchAnd to soak it up an in-between snack crackers to munchMariah whatever happened to us? Why did we have to break up?All I asked for was a glass of punch!You see I never really asked for muchI can't imagine what's going through your mind after suchA nasty break-up with that Latin hunkLuis Miguel; Nick Cannon better back the fuckUp, I'm not playin', I want her back, you punkThis is Hello Kitty bedspread satin funkMixed with Egyptian with a little rap and punkZapp and Eric Clapton, Shaft, Frank Zappa, crunkAnd yeah baby I want another crack at yaYou can beat me with any spatula that you wantI mean I really want you bad, you cuntNick you had your fun, I've come to kick you in your sack of junkMan I could use a fresh batch of bloodSo prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture
[Hook]Bagpipes from BaghdadWhen will it ever ceaseFor Pete's sakes he's crazy to say the leastBagpipes from BaghdadWhat's goin through my mindHalf the time when I rhyme we're blowin up likeBagpipes from BaghdadSomebody turn the vacancy sign onCause I'm gone, blowing up myBagpipes from BaghdadI run the streets and actLike a madman holdin a glad bag
[Verse 2]You can be a permanent fixture in my lyrical mixtureI'm the miracle whip... tricksterMy signature sound when a tube of lipstick's aroundI'm bound to put it on in an instant, wow manWhat an ensemble, what an assortment of pharma--ceuticals this beautiful pill dust in my palm, myCuticles get residue just from touchin the bottleNever knew I could remind me so much of my mommaI'll cut ya like Dahmer, pull the butcher knife on yaThe size of a sword boy I'm like the fuckin Red SonjaGet it stuck in your cornea, nice knowin ya, NormanYou're so fuckin' annoyin', drop the shovel boyYou don't know what the fuck you're doinI ain't playin' no fuckin' moreNick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin' whoreEvery minute there's a sucker born, snuck up onMalachi made the motherfucker suck on a shuck of cornShuck of, shuck of corn, shuck of cornHit Jason in the face with a hockey puck and told him it's fucking onMan what the fuck are ya doin'You're runnin over the snowblower with the lawnmowerBlowin' your bagpipes from Baghdad
[Hook]
[Verse 3]In the bed with two brain dead lesbian vegetablesI bet you they become heterosexualNothing will stop me from molestin' youTitty-fuckin' you til' your breast nipple flesh tickles my testiclesIs what they said to the two conjoined twinsHow's it going girlfriends, you need a boyfriendYou need some ointment, just set up an appointmentWho's gonna see the doctor first, we'll do a coin flipI just got my one-year sobriety coin chipWhen the bad get goin, how bad does the going getBaby you shouldn't have any trouble rubbin groins witEach other especially when you're joined at the hipI'm going to get the needle and thread from the sewing kitAn attempt to separate 'em and stitch 'em back at the loins, shitLure the little boy with the chocolate chips ahoy! chip-Cookie lookie even took me a polaroid flick
[Hook]
(Vocoder) Hum-de-lay-le-lah-aaahhhhhhh (X4)